Hope is a four letter word...

So I'm a lousy blogger....

If today is the first day of the rest of my life, I enter that life in a deluge of emotion. I am simultaneously angry, confused, scared and depressed. “Why?” one might ask. Perhaps a little history is warranted here.

In February of 2011, I was laid off from the best job anyone could hope for. It was a job which I loved. I loved what I did. I loved the challenges, I loved the work. I couldn't wait to get to work every morning. I had weekends that seemed too long to get back to that job. I was an Architectural Designer for an eclectic firm which allowed for all kinds of design.

The time between February 2011 and May 2011 was a difficult transition into unemployment. However, I found a job – in a city 260 miles away from home, well below my technical skill in drafting and well below the pay rate for that skill. It was a job – of which I did not enjoy. Indeed by the time I was again laid off in April of 2012 – I had learned to loath that particular organization and what it represented in my life. It was simply a place which I worked of which I had no positive emotional tie. Since then I have been chronically unemployed. I have searched long and hard, wide and far... and simply put, no one is building, meaning no one is in need of an Architectural Designer.

The last three months has been a roller coaster of sorts. I had a glimmer of light. This glimmer took shape as the possibility to be a set designer for a Major Motion Picture (that's right a movie). There has been several dates which it was promised that the investors of this movie would have their funds available to start this movie production. Each one of those dates failed, meaning that the movie was put on hold as to accommodate the moving of funds to the production. Yesterday, the final coming to Jesus moment came with the investors. They pulled out. The production as of now is shut down. I again am unemployed.

There is another little glimmer of hope, just enough to tease the thought that I might have a job with this production. There is another source of funding which our producer is chasing and is meeting with even as I write this blog. It's “The pitch” meeting to see if this investor is interested in the project. If he is, then several more meetings to get all the lawyers together and all the legalease contracts in place.

In the mean time, I get to float in limbo. It's been this roller coaster which I now find myself asking some poignant questions. Like:

“Why does life continue to kick me in the balls, just as soon as I start to stand up on my own two feet?” or “Why can't I get a single success in my life?”

I mean I feel like a perpetual failure, unable to provide for my family. Depression and mood swings are a constant companion, of which my family is tired. I was informed by my wife that this round of hopelessness she will not put up with “your pity party.” Well excuse the hell out of me. I can't control it. Every time I try, I get knocked back 5 yards, dog piled on, kicked several times in the groin, then stabbed in the kidneys with a shiv. Every time she tells me that I can't help but think that the world would have been much better off without me in it.

Here's the kicker... Since I am unemployed, I have no health insurance. So if it is a chemical imbalance which is acerbated by chronic unemployment, I can't do an damn thing about it. I can't afford to get medical help. Hell I can't even afford to go to the doctor to refill my medication for my asthma and or diabetes. So what to do?

Beats me. I have no idea. None. I have done all I my power to get employed and failed spectacularly. I can't even get a hamburger flipper job as I am constantly reminded that I am “over qualified” for the position which means, “we know you can do this job, but also know that you are gone the first time there's a better job for you, so we are not going to spend the money on you for your training since you will quit someday anyway.”

Even better is now Obamacare is enacted. A nice little side effect which is now plaguing the country is people are not hiring full time anymore. In fact, there are reports of certain jobs went form full time to part time to prevent the mandated health care law to provide health care for full time employees.

The more I think about this latest turn of events, the darker I feel. My wife is refusing to want to talk about it. Her only advise is to “just snap out of it.” If it was just that simple. It feels like a burden which pulls my shoulders down. I am disheartened. I just want to be numb, since that would be an improvement of what I feel now.

Anyone have some suggestions?

In this heated election cycle, there has been an above average scrutiny of the polls, their sampling, and the methodology. Just a though here, but could it be due to the hurricane and the certain polls going on hiatus for those few days, could we find that a rapid or radical swing at the favor of Mr. Romney as the polling desperately tries to be as accurate as the actual election as possible? It accrues to me that as the sample size is adjusted to support the actual turnout this year.

Normally I wouldn't bother with such a mental exorcise  however, strange events cause to speculate on such a possibilities. First, the amount of commercials being bought by both the Romney and Obama camps in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Oregon, Wisconsin, Michigan and Iowa tells me that the “internal” polling is much closer than has been reported by anyone. Pennsylvania alone was supposed to be a lock for the President as little as two months ago. The same was said for Oregon, Wisconsin and Michigan. Indeed Wisconsin a year ago was supposed to be a big democrat win with the recall election of Scott Walker. The final tally, with more than 100% of the electorate of Madison voting had the Governor winning by a rather large margin despite the polls the week before showing a democrat win by 10 points.

Using the methodology of the 2008 elections is a dangerous proposition at best. The pollsters are dismissing entirely the 2010 elections and referendum on Obamacare. There is an ground swell of opposition to an ever intrusive government which has grown to epic proportions in the last two years. Combine that with a depressed radical left base and an overly excited center right country which is primed to vote. In fact I voted early. My election official told me he that they were expecting an 85%-90% voter turnout. Something that has not been seen in anyone's lifetime.

My personal conclusion is that there Mitt Romney will not only win, but win big with 360 plus electoral vote, and somewhere in the neighborhood of 63% of the popular vote. While only anecdotal everyone I have any contact with, be it Facebook, or in life, cannot wait to pull the trigger to vote one person or another. Imagine if all counties across this country had that same 85%-90% election turnout. It would be a day that hadn't been seen in over a century and a half.

To quote Dennis Miller, “That's the news and I am outta here.”

Are you better off now than you were four years ago?

I feel inspired to write. Indeed there is a cause of which I think we can all agree. This cause is a call to action for every man, woman and child who is willing and able to act. We are in a crisis, and though I am not as elloqent as some, I know what we need to do. Recently Glenn Beck has called for grass roots organization for a day of fasting and prayer in our communities. Might I suggest a national day of prayer and fasting. Might I further suggest that this day should be this September 11, 2012. On September 12, 2001, we were a nation in crisis, real crisis. We were attacked by a frightening new enemy, well new to those whom had been lulled into a deep slumber. As a nation, we moved from our comfortable places and stood next to God the Almighty, and called on him to bless this nation and sanctify the blood of the innocent that they might return home to Him. Are we now not in a crisis? This crisis is of liberty, faith, hope, love and freedom. Can we not move from our comfortable places and stand boldly next to Almighty God and once again call upon him. While we can call on Him for the end of the national drought, but for His Divine intervention that the freedom to worship Him as any individual sees fit shall be restored in full.

While the adversary, even Satan himself shall sling his stones an arrows at those whom stand next to God, he cannot strike God, for God is the God of all, the Almighty God. We can and should choose to stand next to Him. He can and shall liberate the hearts of Mankind, if we but move to stand next to God. Let this, our finest hour be the 24 hours of September 11, 2012. Let every church, mosque, temple, sanctuary, chapel and home be the edifice in which we purified our heats. Let us commit ourselves to Him, the Creator of the Universe and everything in it. Let us move to Him, that We the People can call upon His Divine protection. We need to be as brave and bold and as faithful as the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence. Let us be worthy of firm reliance on Divine Providence to protect this land, His people, and his liberty so given to mankind.

We the People, be we Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim or Mormon, all may call on the Almighty God on behalf of mankind. Only we, the faithful in our own faith can call upon our friends, neighbors and fellow faithful in our own standing. Let us, We the People be the men, women and children of God, standing together in our faith in God, that we can be worthy to call upon Him. If we but have our own circle of influence, be it our own family, or neighborhood, or connect in anyway possible a larger circle of influence, we can change the world, one heart at a time. So mighty a change can be so wrought on this good earth as to shake the very foundations of evil.

The only question left is, are you in or out? If you are in, then let us gather together, here or other network places and let us have a day of prayer and fasting – a day of faith – in every neighborhood, city, village, county and state each within our station.

Indeed it's been a while. For those who may read this post (which is almost certain to a total of zero) I have been severely restricted by economics. In the last 18 months I have been laid off twice. The industry for which I am highly trained and skilled has no prospects for any kind of enduring employment. I no prospects and fear that what employment is available is not even enough to cover the obligations of utilities, mortgage and fuel. My hope for a future for myself has dwindled and whittled away to the lowest point I can remember.

I have an American Dream. It's my American Dream and until recently I always thought I would be able to pursue my happiness in that dream. Of late, unless there is a dramatic change in the practices of governments at every level from the lowly city bureaucracy, to the highest levels of an oppressive federal government seizing control at every opportunity and turn to the God given liberty and freedom of man I am certain that I will no longer be able to pursue that dream and my children will be forced to abandon theirs. Our posterity's liberty, choice and freedom is on the knife's edge of being lost forever. That thought and fear more than any other keeps me awake at night.

In that dark lowly moment, when I have done all I can, and failed how will generations hence judge me. How will the Almighty God judge me. How will I be able to live with myself when their liberty is confiscated because of We the People should we fail. God help us all.

America, God is calling

“These are the times that try mens souls.” When Thomas Paine wrote these very words, they were meant for men that had been in defeat after defeat. They were worn, beaten, wounded, diseased and disheartened. The words, it turns out, are prophetic. From time to time, Americans have been called by Divine Providence to protect and defend the Constitution, Liberty and our Republic. Now is the time that We the People must answer the call to liberty. Only We the People can save, yea even restore our Republic.

The Almighty God has preserved this land for His purpose. He has saved this people for this generation. We are born for a purpose. There is a divine plan and We the People are an intricate part of that plan. For if there be a God, He surely has a plan for us – We the People. Divine Providence, it would seem, has called upon this generation. It is a call to rally around Him and then act. Act in a way that is pleasing to Him.

The greatest deception that ever was perpetrated, is that the devil convinced the world that he does not exist. There is great Evil in the world. This evil is now growing exponentially. Disaster, death, destruction and desolation all conspire to dishearten mankind. When absent a moral stand, when character fails, when men abandon the light within, evil wins. In the battle of good versus evil – an ageless contention – if there is an absence of good, evil will fill the void.

We need people of good moral character. We need people to stand and lead in their own homes, communities, states and then nation. We need every city and town counsel to have a George Washington on them. We need a Franklin, Jefferson, or Adams on every city, county or state elected position, tied closely to the Constitution and the Republic. We need Eagle Scouts, businessmen & women, mothers, father, husbands, wives, grandparents to be the leaders of today. We the People need you.

Now it the time to be with Him. Let Him guide you. Find your calling. Be whom He meant you to be. Be not afraid, for when with God – Divine Providence will protect you, and He will be your shield.

An open letter to society at large

To Whom it may concern:

These are indeed the time that try men's souls (one must include women & children here as well). We are under assault as in no other time in our history. Satan, known once as Lucifer, and his minions are waging battles within our very souls to corrupt mankind, destroy his spirit and relationship with God the Almighty. We brave few, form the time our hearts, minds and eyes were open have endeavored to battle this great evil in our limited and independent way.

About two years ago, Glenn Beck launched the 9-12 project, that We the People might know that we were not alone, that we would and could stand shoulder to shoulder and fight with our individual talents and skills. We would fight for liberty, freedom and the Republic and restore her to her grand stature despite all the corruption of the powerful and plague of politicians. Now, just as back in the time of the Revolution that freed a people from the greatest power on earth, we have not just one, but many crises. George Washington was nearly defeated, at the end of his rope - so to speak. He had suffered defeat after defeat and barely escaped across the Delaware river. There was little to no supplies. Men were wounded, sick and starving. Their enlistments were nearly up. Congress had failed to deliver the necessary supplies, promised monies and abandoned Philadelphia believing that the army would loose once again. At that time George Washington called on Thomas Paine to write something inspiring for his troops. He wrote the Crisis where the immortal phrase "These are the times that try men's souls." originate.

We can not let petty differences in politics, nor of a posting cause disunity for the cause of liberty. We mush stand, and stand with God the Almighty, that we can spread freedom for ourselves and our posterity. We are in the opening salvos of a brutal and continuous war. We are fighting, good against evil. For if we fail in our task, our calling, and our post, evil will surely sweep the planet earth like in no other time, and darkness shall reign for generations to come. The blood that was spilled on our behalf from our forbearers shall be spilled in vain should we allow this fate - and we shall answer to our God for our weakness.

So let us lay aside our minor pettiness and lets us stand united in the war against all evil. We shall change ourselves that we can change the world. May we stand with the Almighty God, and may His divine providence guide our every thought, word and deed to the preserving of this land in liberty.

Utah Patriot