Some will look upon this late fall, as a cold and prolonged early winter. Others will reflect upon the “Holiday Season” or as I prefer it, the “Christmas Season” as a time of cheer, love and joy. This particular season, I have found it hard to be bitter, yet harder still to be filled with the love and joy that the season promotes. It has been a particularly early cold and it has been prolonged. The pale yellow sun fails to warm the face of this corner of the earth. This is not necessarily a peculiar event, it just happens in my general location sometime in late January and early February.
While I have not really enjoyed this Christmas season as I have in years past, all hope, love, joy and cheer is not lost. What’s more, I just learned of the passing of my grandmother. This is no particular surprise, and in her case, it probably a blessing. My grandfather, her husband, had passed just before Thanksgiving, 2007.
Before I go further, I should explain the tradition of Thanksgiving in my father’s family. Ever since I can remember, Thanksgiving has been a gathering of all my cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents starting the Wed. night before Thanksgiving. My dad has 6 brothers and one sister. Each of the brothers and sister has a minimum of 5 children. As of today, Most of the children have 3-5 children. When we gather for Thanksgiving, it’s anywhere between 90-120 people. On the Wed. before thanksgiving, in the last few years, it’s been my responsibility to start the fire in the pit for the meats which we cook underground. It starts about 12 and we make about 18” of coals to fully cook 5-7 20 lbs. turkeys, and 25 lbs. of roast beef. We place the meats in the pit at 7:00 p.m. and retrieve them 1:00 pm the next day. On Thanksgiving, the feast includes turkey, roast beef, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy (I make the gravy) yams, salad, Dixie salad, rolls, green bean casserole, parsnips, and cranberry relish. It’s finished with a variety of pies, cakes, sweets.
The celebration does not stop with the feast. We hold a family home evening on Thanksgiving night. We have a load of games at park, use the leftovers for lunch, and return for dinner, and family entertainment. The next morning, families disperse to their homes.
Right before the Thanksgiving of 2007, my grandfather died. For me, it was not a time of lament, nor great sadness, for he was ready for the next phase of life. His years on this good Earth was spent working hard, and having challenges from external sources refine his character. He was a man that provided the needs of his family. He was an inventor, father, husband and had his posterity before him at least once a year at Thanksgiving. He relished those moments, for he knew his life was full rich – rich beyond description. He was not rich in terms of money, but his wealth was from the fulfillment of his family.
About an hour ago, I learned that his wife my grandmother died. It’s Tuesday, December 23, 2008. Two days before Christmas, my grandmother died. As was with my grandfather, I am not upset. She, like he, worked all her life. While her task was greater than any in the commercial or governmental field combined. She has stayed at home to raise 6 boys and 1 daughter. After they were raised, she then worked, keeping her husband from being idol. (I think that most wives are wired to do that) She was missing her husband, and with the various ailments that plagued her for the last 10 or so years, this is a blessing. She also was ready for the next stage of life.
While I don’t feel particularly distraught, or upset, I am sure that my dad is holding it together, right until the funeral. (just as he had with his father dying.) So for my dad, Thanksgiving will be a time for remembrance of his father’s passing, and Christmas will be the reminder of his mother’s passing.
Fortunately, thanks to the knowledge of what is after this life, and how it’s possible, despair is not commonly associated with death. We believe that all will live again. That is everyone that is born on Earth shall be resurrected in their time. For those that find the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, accept his teachings and become counted with his followers, life will be with the Father and the Son in a glory beyond all description. Thus, hope, faith and belief are all steps to this knowledge.
The only thing that really reoccurs to me, over and over, is that there are fewer days ahead than behind. And for the short term, the days ahead are dark, and dreary.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Dispair
I am quite certain that I am the only reader of this particular blog. Not that I am complaining, nor am I counting. For years I was sure I was a significant nothing, and well for the most part, it seems to come to fruition. There is, of course, the immediate circle of influence in which I could be counted as a significant part. That would be obviously, my family. Beyond that broader circle, but which the influence is logarithmically reduced would be those associates of business, acquaintances, and friends, with whom I associate on a daily basis. The next tier out from the center would be those with whom I occasionally pass by in commerce or when the government requires I call, such as at the grocery store, post office or DMV. After that ring is one finally ring, which encompasses the rest of the known universe, of which I have no influence at all.
One would think that this premise could be rather enlightening. By the description, it could be a realistic assessment of my personal relationships and that I know exactly where I stand in the grand scheme of things. Or rather, it could be a fight to bring meaning, significant, true meaning to my existence. I, for one, don’t rightly know (not that anyone will really care, until or unless someone has a need to investigate my untimely and or unnatural death). Exactly where I stand in the grand scheme of the universe, and what the purpose of which God will make use of me, is wholly unclear. Devine providence, it seems, has placed me in a holding pattern.
I almost feel stagnant. Neither progressing, nor digressing, but existing only to sustain the living around me. It all extends from the knowledge that there is literally nothing that I can do to prevent my freedoms from being stolen, trampled and pillaged from me, my family and my posterity. Generations of men and women took on themselves the right, privilege and duty to secure the rights and freedoms granted from on High. Once we had a generation willing and able to do the difficult things required to save a world at war. They had the courage, and moral authority to act to save Europe, twice. This same group of people have been dubbed “The Greatest Generation”, and rightly so.
Their children are our seasoned citizens of today. Yet, while their fathers and mothers did everything to guarantee their liberty and freedoms, even to the spilling of their very blood, they stand in greed demanding from others to provide for them. It’s not entirely their own fault. The government, from the time of Roosevelt, granted sustenance, without the requirement earning that sustenance. It became an entitlement. It was their right to be given that which was taken from someone else. For those whom it was taken, had plenty, should give of themselves for others, even if the government should compel them to do so.
These entitlements have grown, and grown, to the time where we sit today. A bloated corps of a government, taking on the responsibilities of capitalism: an oxymoron as ever been seen in this day. The free enterprise system can only be free if government involvement is at a bare minimum. Markets ebb and flow as do the tides. Sometimes the tide is exceedingly high, and sometimes the tide is exceedingly low. No one however can build anything that can control those tides, be it high or low.
The founding fathers of this great and glorious land knew exactly what they were doing, when the restricted the government to a specific and extremely limited powers. In the name of this cause or that cause, our freedoms have been eroded, confined, and even stripped away. Some calling these restrictions of man a good thing, “for the greater good”, while those like me long for a return to the founding principles of virtue, honesty, goodness, and Godliness.
More insidious, is the blatant and bold attacks on those of religion. A concerted effort and great strides have been made to remove God from every place, and Christ from Christmas. Laws reject the word Christmas from the public view. The Ten Commandments, the foundation of nearly all our laws, is stripped from the schools, court rooms, and all manner of public places. Is it no wonder that hope is driven from the thoughts of man?
Taken as a whole, indeed I feel insignificant to do anything against the bombardment of my core beliefs, some which many would outlaw, given the first opportunity. I have no voice on the air, in the print media save this blog only. My attempts to communicate with those whom represent me in Washington D.C. ignore the vast majority (as I count myself as among them).
A deep darkness is brewing on the horizon. A terrible wrath is marching its way to all of us. While some in Washington seem intent on distracting us from that coming storm, others are flashing the warning signs. Something wicked this way comes. I feel it. Others know it. And a looming sense of doom creeps into my heart. I have not the means to support my family in that economic disaster marching its way to my battle front. I have not the talent, not the financial freedom, so longed by every American. I don’t’ have my own house. Have two cars, both in need of repair, but not the means or knowledge to repair them. I don’t have the strength to fight this battle, nor the wisdom to find a victory with in it. I sit, alone, on the precipice of despair. There is no hope from those in elected leadership. I have been abandoned for some time politically. It seems defeat is inevitable. Yet, for some strange unknown reason, I have yet to yield, I have yet to surrender, but I don’t know why.
The Knight Hawk
One would think that this premise could be rather enlightening. By the description, it could be a realistic assessment of my personal relationships and that I know exactly where I stand in the grand scheme of things. Or rather, it could be a fight to bring meaning, significant, true meaning to my existence. I, for one, don’t rightly know (not that anyone will really care, until or unless someone has a need to investigate my untimely and or unnatural death). Exactly where I stand in the grand scheme of the universe, and what the purpose of which God will make use of me, is wholly unclear. Devine providence, it seems, has placed me in a holding pattern.
I almost feel stagnant. Neither progressing, nor digressing, but existing only to sustain the living around me. It all extends from the knowledge that there is literally nothing that I can do to prevent my freedoms from being stolen, trampled and pillaged from me, my family and my posterity. Generations of men and women took on themselves the right, privilege and duty to secure the rights and freedoms granted from on High. Once we had a generation willing and able to do the difficult things required to save a world at war. They had the courage, and moral authority to act to save Europe, twice. This same group of people have been dubbed “The Greatest Generation”, and rightly so.
Their children are our seasoned citizens of today. Yet, while their fathers and mothers did everything to guarantee their liberty and freedoms, even to the spilling of their very blood, they stand in greed demanding from others to provide for them. It’s not entirely their own fault. The government, from the time of Roosevelt, granted sustenance, without the requirement earning that sustenance. It became an entitlement. It was their right to be given that which was taken from someone else. For those whom it was taken, had plenty, should give of themselves for others, even if the government should compel them to do so.
These entitlements have grown, and grown, to the time where we sit today. A bloated corps of a government, taking on the responsibilities of capitalism: an oxymoron as ever been seen in this day. The free enterprise system can only be free if government involvement is at a bare minimum. Markets ebb and flow as do the tides. Sometimes the tide is exceedingly high, and sometimes the tide is exceedingly low. No one however can build anything that can control those tides, be it high or low.
The founding fathers of this great and glorious land knew exactly what they were doing, when the restricted the government to a specific and extremely limited powers. In the name of this cause or that cause, our freedoms have been eroded, confined, and even stripped away. Some calling these restrictions of man a good thing, “for the greater good”, while those like me long for a return to the founding principles of virtue, honesty, goodness, and Godliness.
More insidious, is the blatant and bold attacks on those of religion. A concerted effort and great strides have been made to remove God from every place, and Christ from Christmas. Laws reject the word Christmas from the public view. The Ten Commandments, the foundation of nearly all our laws, is stripped from the schools, court rooms, and all manner of public places. Is it no wonder that hope is driven from the thoughts of man?
Taken as a whole, indeed I feel insignificant to do anything against the bombardment of my core beliefs, some which many would outlaw, given the first opportunity. I have no voice on the air, in the print media save this blog only. My attempts to communicate with those whom represent me in Washington D.C. ignore the vast majority (as I count myself as among them).
A deep darkness is brewing on the horizon. A terrible wrath is marching its way to all of us. While some in Washington seem intent on distracting us from that coming storm, others are flashing the warning signs. Something wicked this way comes. I feel it. Others know it. And a looming sense of doom creeps into my heart. I have not the means to support my family in that economic disaster marching its way to my battle front. I have not the talent, not the financial freedom, so longed by every American. I don’t’ have my own house. Have two cars, both in need of repair, but not the means or knowledge to repair them. I don’t have the strength to fight this battle, nor the wisdom to find a victory with in it. I sit, alone, on the precipice of despair. There is no hope from those in elected leadership. I have been abandoned for some time politically. It seems defeat is inevitable. Yet, for some strange unknown reason, I have yet to yield, I have yet to surrender, but I don’t know why.
The Knight Hawk
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Wanted: A Christmas Miracle for a friend...
I have an acquaintance with whom a Christmas Miracle would be most appreciated and would change the course of his families life. A little back story is required here. First there is his wife. She suffers from muscular dystrophy, rendering her forced to live in a wheel chair. Their lives together has seen its highs and lows. Recently, during the incredible insane real estate he tried his best to obtain the American Dream of home ownership. Unfortunately he was in one of the many loans that should of never been lent. This was a year and a half before the collapse of the market in August of 2008. He was forced into bankruptcy, and has barely earned a living since. When the cost of fuel was at its zenith, he contemplated leaving his current state to move in with his parents to start afresh.
Most times in the holiday season, we think of familiar pleasant good times with friends, family and acquaintances. For my friend, this Thanksgiving past is probably his most trying time ever. His wife suffered from a medical emergency. While at the E.R., she was diagnosed with Leukemia. My friend loves his wife dearly. If it were me, with my relationship with my wife, I would be exactly the consistency of Jello. He has two daughters, 3 and 1. As soon as she was diagnosed with the cancer, her parents got the children, while she was taken to the Huntsman Cancer Center.
I don't know the prognosis of my friend's wife, but I hope all is well. There is hope, but I don't know how much hope is left. If there was a need for a Christmas Miracle, this situation and time is it.
Personally, I have struggled with faith in mankind. I have struggled with hope, and don't know if I believe in Christmas Miracles. I want to believe, and I don't want one for myself or my family. I only hope that the God in Heaven will bless her for the sake of her children. No Child should grow up with out a mother to nurture and love them. If there is a Christmas Miracle to be had, this is the time and the place.
The Knight Hawk
Most times in the holiday season, we think of familiar pleasant good times with friends, family and acquaintances. For my friend, this Thanksgiving past is probably his most trying time ever. His wife suffered from a medical emergency. While at the E.R., she was diagnosed with Leukemia. My friend loves his wife dearly. If it were me, with my relationship with my wife, I would be exactly the consistency of Jello. He has two daughters, 3 and 1. As soon as she was diagnosed with the cancer, her parents got the children, while she was taken to the Huntsman Cancer Center.
I don't know the prognosis of my friend's wife, but I hope all is well. There is hope, but I don't know how much hope is left. If there was a need for a Christmas Miracle, this situation and time is it.
Personally, I have struggled with faith in mankind. I have struggled with hope, and don't know if I believe in Christmas Miracles. I want to believe, and I don't want one for myself or my family. I only hope that the God in Heaven will bless her for the sake of her children. No Child should grow up with out a mother to nurture and love them. If there is a Christmas Miracle to be had, this is the time and the place.
The Knight Hawk
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